Random Thoughts and Kindness

It's been a while since I've posted and during that time I've thought about LOTS of different things, some of which I'll share and some I won't.  Isn't it funny how we get caught up in our day to day lives and just get busy with the simple act of living day to day?  It's during those times that it can be challenging to step back in order to see the bigger picture.  Over the next few weeks I'll be sharing about some of the things I've experienced over the past couple of months and the insights I've gained.  Hopefully you'll find at least some of it helpful and worthwhile. 

Here's a list of a few of the things I've been up to:

  • Moving my mother out of her home of 30+ years into a retirement home.  She did NOT want to move.
  • Spent a week in Montana at a guest ranch riding 60+ hour during that week and felt like I was drinking riding and horsemanship education out of a fire hose!
  • Received advice from well meaning people about my horse.

These things may all seem unrelated but they have much in common. Each contained fear, judgment, insecurity and resentment.  Some of which was mine and some of which belonged to others. In challenging and stressful situations it is extremely easy to feel insecure and judge the situation, yourself and the people involved.

When I took a step back both emotionally and mentally, I was able to see each situation more clearly.  I was able to see the part I played in each of the unfolding ‘drama’s’ as well as which parts belonged to me and which parts didn’t.  Being able to see my part in each situation enabled me to decide what I wanted to do and determine how I wanted to ‘show up’.

The situation with my mother was supercharged with years of emotional baggage, judgments and resentment on MY part.  When I was able to step back and see how afraid she was and how scared she was I was able to bring desperately needed compassion into the situation. Was I able to hold onto that compassion the entire time? No but the compassion I did bring helped tremendously.

When I went to Montana I went someplace that I’d never been, to be among people I’d never met all by myself.  I admit I was a little scared and in my insecurity I could have gone become defensive in an effort to ‘protect’ myself.  I did my best to remain open and trainable because I was there specifically to learn how to be a better rider and get better at my horsemanship skills. I was only one of two guests at the ranch that week which was amazing.  The woman I shared the week with said something to me that I took to heart and have pondered on ever since.  I was talking about sharing my experience over the week and she said that it was okay to keep it all to myself as a gift to myself. WOW what a concept!  I also had the epiphany that at any time I can be whomever I choose to be.  I can be anyone and share any story I want at any time.  I don’t have to be the story I’ve been telling myself my entire life, I can be the story of my dreams!

I’ve ridden with the same people a few times and sometimes when I ride with them my horse is very well behaved and sometimes he isn’t.  I’ve been told that I should get rid of or retire my horse and get a different one because he is unsafe.  These people absolutely have my best interest at heart however they are basing their assessment on a few random samples which creates a relatively small snapshot view of the entire whole. In a way it’s like looking at granite samples.  A small sample of granite may look completely different than the entire sheet and in fact usually does!  It’s easy for all of us to make a judgment about a situation based on what we think we see, sometimes we’re right and sometimes we’re not.  When we do this we are basing our judgment on our own ability, our own fears, the knowledge that we posses and applying it to someone else.  None of us ever really knows what someone else is capable of because we aren’t them.

In the weeks to come I will write more about each of these experiences in greater depth and the gifts that I received from each.  My wish for you this week is to take a step back and look at whatever situation you find yourself in that you are struggling with so you can see what part may be yours to own and then change.  If I don’t like a situation then it is up to ME to change how I am showing up so that I may change the situation.  Remember that nothing changes until something changes and I invite YOU to be the change in your own life.

Here's to you in Health, Wellness and Fitness!

Jennifer Malocha CEO of Fun at Wuhoo Fitness



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